Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
