The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
