She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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