I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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