Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
