Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and she was petting her beer can
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
