My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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