Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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