When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
