Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
