It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
