So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
