just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
