He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
