I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
