Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
