Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
