we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
