Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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