honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
