Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
