HIV tests are more positive than that guy
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
