9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
