So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
