We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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