he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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