Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Randomize
