Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
