she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
