i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
