yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
