I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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