Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
