You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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