I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
