I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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