Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
