Sponge bath it is.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
