All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
