As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
