i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
