She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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