God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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