ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
