LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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