you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
