Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
