No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
