the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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