yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
